February 20 - family
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Psalms 127 – Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. 3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Points:

This Psalm is speaking about the same thing, not two things. The subject is children, not cities, or so forth. This Psalm will take away worry about having too many children, or how you will take care of them. It is as impossible to defend a city if God isn’t there as it is to feed children without God being there. There is no need of staying up late, worrying about how to feed and clothe your children. God will clothe them – Matthew 6:33.

It is not wrong to plan and try to work out the ways to provide for your family – compare to the "watchman waketh but in vain." While it is not vain for the city to hire a watchman and for the watchman to get up and do his duty, it is vain for all this work to be carried on without the blessings of God upon it. Therefore – it is not wrong to plan to work, to get the best job you can get, and to plan what you are going to buy, making sure you have enough money for a rainy day. But it is vain to place too much emphasis upon it. There must be a balance between human responsibility and depending on God. (As in all things – even believing in election and whosoever will.)

Children are a heritage (inheritance) from God. Many people don’t want much inheritance from the Lord, they would rather have inheritance of this world’s possessions. This is why people have large houses and small families. (Not all families with one or two children want it that way – sometimes health considerations play a part in small families. Also, I am not saying that every family should consist of 10 or 12 children. That is not wrong, even though it is considered wrong in today’s politically correct world.

Children are the reward (salary) of the Godly man. Children are compensation – not a load or burden. Is your pay check a burden to you, or is it a blessing? Children (pay check) are what a man uses to build his future, and to make him happy and contented in young and old age.

Comparing what is more important – the children God gives you, or providing for them – the children are more important. Don’t ever lose sight of the fact that these children belong to God, and He will surely take care of them, just as surely as He took care of you. There will be trials in this, but God knows all about that.

Children are like arrows. They go places the parents cannot go. They do things the parents cannot do. They are directed by their parents, but children do the work of their own will.

Children of the youth –

a. This is not speaking about young children, necessarily, but children born to parents when they are young. (This is the normal process.)

b. It is very difficult when grandparents must raise their own grandchildren. When this happens it is because the parents don’t know how to raise their own children, or maybe they are too lazy, or just plain no good.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of children. The quiver is the case where the arrows are stored, therefore the house is the place where the children are "stored."

c. Genesis 1:28 – God instructed Adam and his wife to fill the earth with children.

d. Today, the thought is not to fill the earth with children.

1) Children are aborted for nothing more than the convenience of the parent(s).

2) Society as a whole looks down on the couple that has more than a couple of children. They ask, "How to you expect to provide a college education for all those children?"

3) When Beth was born, the doctor told me as I looked on my newborn daughter, "You have a boy and a girl, it is a good time to stop."

4) All through the Bible days, children worked alongside their parents, therefore they gained the knowledge of their parents. They had compassion for the struggles of their parents, but today, children don’t even know what the parents do to supply for them. Most children don’t even know where the parents work.

5) Here is a vicious circle: Laws of most areas force individuals to allow contractors to build their houses, (instead of family and friends building their own houses) and people to pay them, forcing them into houses young couples can ill afford, with high monthly payments, most of the monthly payment going to banks to pay interest on the money they loaned out, and forcing young people to believe mom must work to pay for all the things they have, and need to live. (Many things are considered a necessity which were not considered necessities in days of old – televisions, cable T. V., telephones, two cars – probably almost new, new furniture, air conditioning, all the modern appliances, so forth. In days gone by, couples worked for 40 years to get the things most couples demand as soon as they get married.) Mothers work outside the home, therefore the children are pushed off on a baby sitter, or a day care center, where somebody else gives them the values of life. And these "somebody’s" don’t really care about the long-term values instilled in children. They only care about the short term welfare – and whether or not they get paid. The government is also involved in this through giving tax deductions to parents who put their children in day care centers instead of raising them themselves.

There are two ways verse 8 could be considered.

e. The power and authority of a man grows as the children grow into faithful, knowledgeable adults. When a man has many children his authority extends because he has power derived from his children who listen to him, and will follow his example. His children give power to his words.

1) He will speak to the enemies in the gates. This speaks of a position of power and authority, brought about because of honorable children. He speaks to the enemies at the gates – when the enemies attempts to break through the gates and destroy the cities. In a time of crisis, the people will call the man who has strength, whose children has listened to him, because he gave them good advice.

2) Picture the "power" of a man who has a houseful of rebellious children. Nobody will listen to him, will they?

3) He will also speak to the friends in the city. They will listen to him, because they see and understand that his family is faithful to God. The people in the city see how honorable his children are, and that gives him clout.

f. The children shall not be ashamed, but shall take care of the parents when they reach old age – the enemies in the gate. There will be no confusion, but the children have learned to work together, and will continue to work together even after the parents have died.

Children are people – little people for sure, but they are people.

Do not raise your children the way you were raised!

Eph. 6:4 – "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Raise them according to the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said good-bye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,

common courtesy you use,

but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue"

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

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Five levels of intimacy in marriage.

  1. Cliques – saying hello – goodbye – how are you -
  2. Facts
  3. Feelings
  4. Wants
  5. Needs

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Eight Habits of spouses who love their spouses

  1. Loving spouses honor their commitment to each other, and to God.
  2. Loving spouses open themselves to their spouses, and do not try to hide their true feelings, thoughts, ambitions, or desires.
  3. Loving spouses reserve special time each day to be available in mind, body and spirit for each other.
  4. Loving spouses strive to keep the sexual fires blazing.
  5. Loving spouses work on bolstering their relationship with each other.
  6. Loving spouses strive to not take their spouse for granted.
  7. Loving spouses enjoy each others company and love to go out together.
  8. Loving spouses regularly show the other that they are a source of pleasure.